Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
