he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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