Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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