I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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