So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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