i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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