So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
