her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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