you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
