Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
