Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
