He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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