Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize