Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
