Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
