Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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