Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
