I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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