who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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