we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
