Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
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