3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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