When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize