My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
