Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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