They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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