I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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