If i come over, it means nothing
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
