Do you still have your period?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
there was a trapeze. enough said
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
