Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
