that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
