The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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