Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
