Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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