so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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