why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
