NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
