Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
