it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize