Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
