there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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