Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
