You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
