my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
