it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
