i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
