party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
