you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize