we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
