I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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