i just made my gag reflex go away.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
