8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
