Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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