Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
