So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
false alarm, still single
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