If i come over, it means nothing
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
