Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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