yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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