Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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