By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
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I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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