The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
