she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
