i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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