Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
