your room smells of hookers.
And success
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He kissed a someone with a penis
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
