she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
