i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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