12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Dear god my vagina.
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