My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
