i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
