If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
