Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wish you could order shots online.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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